


Kegare

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reapzo [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Murder, Blood, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Nightmares, Psychological Trauma, Rescue Missions, Second Chances, Self-Hatred, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Murderer. Traitor. In a single moment of madness Hanzo's world narrows down to the blood on his hands, and the guilt staining his soul. He expects to be cast adrift, deserves to be cast adrift, but instead he finds a path opening before him that will either wipe his hands clean, or cast him adrift in the crimson forever.





	1. Chapter 1

_‘Deal with your brother, rein him in or we will…’_

     He had heard the words, heard the threat behind them with a pang of fear, knowing what the clan’s usual methods of dealing with disobedience were, twining his fingers together in his lap so that the Elders wouldn’t be able to see the way his hands trembled. _Genji…_ He’d known that it was coming, had felt their eyes on him whenever he was with his brother, judging them both, and waiting - waiting for him to do his duty as the new head of the family and rein in his flighty brother and bring him to heal. He hadn’t. He didn’t have the heart to do to Genji what had been done to him. As much as he envied the younger Shimada’s freedom under their father, sometimes feeling as though he could hate him for it as he saw his father laughing at Genji’s antics even as he worked to sweep the evidence under the rug, he didn’t want to be the one to take that away from him.

_“Don’t you have dreams Hanzo?”_

     How old had Genji been the first time he had asked him that? How old had his brother been when he had first started to rebel against everything the Clan stood for? Rebelling against the path that had been decided for them both the moment they born into the Shimada clan. Hanzo hadn’t been able to answer at the time, already broken from the habit of daring to dream that he could ever have something more. Dreams? Once upon a time, before his training had begun, before his mother had retreated in the face of his father’s will and left him at the mercy of the Elders and their expectations he had imagined flying away from all of this, of seeing the world beyond Hanamura, beyond Japan. Somewhere deep inside the cabinet in his room still rested the books that he had filled with pictures gleaned from books and magazines, postcards scrounged from clan members who had been abroad on missions and lists of things that he wanted to see. He should have burnt it all…

    Genji still had his dreams though, although Hanzo had long since stopped asking about them because it hurt too much to see the hope, the excitement in those brown eyes that were similar and yet so different to his and know that nothing could ever come of it. He knew that his silence had hurt his brother, that Genji had wanted to share those dreams with him. That his brother still wanted to take him with him even after all the times, he had cut him off and lectured him on settling down and being the perfect heir, and his grip turned bruising as he bowed his head. _Genji. I wish that I had stopped you sooner so that this wouldn’t hurt as much, for both of our sakes._

“Hanzo.”

    He flinched, the tone reminding him that he was only a leader in name, unproven - new blood. Until he had established himself, until he had proven that he could and would uphold the Shimada name that was all he would be, a tool to be used but only as directed and he squeezed his eyes shut. _Please don’t ask this of me._ The plea was there on the tip of his tongue, but he knew that it would remain there, he had seen their expressions and heard the steel beneath their command, and he knew that this was the only path they would allow him, and defeat washed over him, and with it came pain…pain at the thought of taking from his brother what had been taken from him, and more distantly, the remembered pain of the day that he had realised that he would never be anything but a Shimada.

“I will see to it.” He hated how even his voice was, how emotionless he sounded despite the storm raging in his chest, but that paled in comparison to the fury that surged through him as he glanced up and saw the satisfaction on their faces. There was no pride, no approval – because he was doing as ordered just as expected, and his fingers bit deeper as he fought back the angry words that he wished he had the willpower to say, instead bowing his head once more before rising to his feet. “Please, excuse me.”

****

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just take them down?”

    Gabriel looked up at the quiet question, eyes narrowing as he realised that McCree was playing with his gun again, the look on his face telling him that the younger agent was ready for some action after days of doing nothing more than observing the Shimada Clan. He sighed, remembering the days when he had been just impatient, grimacing as he remembered all the lectures that Ana and Jack had often heaped on his head and wondering when he had become the responsible one as he shifted so that he could keep one eye on the green-haired teen they had been following.

“And what about the branches they have across the rest of Japan? The feelers they have out in other countries?” It had been those feelers that had caught his attention and led to his rather passionate argument to come here. The Shimadas were dangerous, and if they managed to build connections with some of the other organisations that were challenging the peace that had settled in the wake of the Omnic Crisis, then he knew that even Overwatch and Blackwatch combined would be hard pressed to corral them and for once his concerns had been heeded. Although he was beginning to regret arguing for McCree to come with him, as he saw the tawny eyes flash as the younger man glanced towards their current target.

“And following him helps us how?” He demanded, wrinkling his nose as he watched the youngest Shimada flirting with a shopkeeper and Gabriel fought back a laugh, knowing that McCree would probably be doing the same if he wasn’t on duty - or even if he was on duty and Gabriel wasn’t there to keep an eye on him.   “If we take this place down then the snake will lose its head.” His amusement faded with that observation, reminded yet again that while McCree was easily developing into one of his best agents, he was still young and still learning about the kinds of people that Blackwatch specialised in taking down.

“A family like this will have contingencies,” he pointed out tersely, tilting his head towards the castle that towered over the area. “We could take down the main branch and those associates that we’re aware of, but the rest would go underground and regroup, hiding behind out ‘victory’ and striking from a direction we wouldn’t expect.” It wouldn’t be the first time they had made that mistake, but it was one that he was keen to avoid if he could.

“So? We deal with them the moment they show their heads.”

“And how long do we keep watch? How often do we have to fight them?” Gabriel demanded, wondering if he had been as stubborn as McCree at that age, but then again McCree hadn’t survived what he and the other founding members of Overwatch had endured. His life had been tough, but he hadn’t seen the true horrors of war, and he sighed, voice softening as he tried to get him to understand. “We’re still dealing with pockets of Omnics because the U.N. declared the Crisis over before we could hunt them all down and eradicate the God Programs completely. That war is still going, and while it’s on a much smaller scale than it was, it drains our resources, costs lives - if we had stopped them back then….” He shook his head, feeling the weight of the lives that had been lost since then, of the few that had survived SEP he and Morrison were the only ones left, and they had lost far too many of the friends and agents who had fought alongside them during the worst of the Crisis.

     McCree was watching him, and he seemed to be listening now, something that Gabriel was grateful for, and he took a deep breath, steadying himself as he pushed the memories back behind the walls he usually kept them locked away with. “That’s why we’re watching him. Our informant indicated that he’s on the verge of breaking from the Shimadas, if we can get him on side, then we will have access to information that our network can’t access. And then…” He didn’t need to finish, the grin on McCree’s face was enough to tell him that the younger man understood.

“All right boss, I’ll be patient.”

“Good,” Gabriel nodded, before turning his attention back to Genji Shimada and studying him through narrowed eyes. While he had been perfectly honest in what he had said to McCree, his interest lay elsewhere, with the more elusive Shimada brother who had apparently just ascended to the head of the family. Finding information on the Clan had been a task and a half, but on the brother - it was like he was a ghost, and Gabriel knew from experience that the more someone tried to hide something, the more important it was. He frowned, tapping his hand against the table, the only nervous tick that he had never managed to suppress before abruptly rising to his feet.

“Sir?” He really must have got through to McCree, because no matter how good he was becoming he still struggled with the concept of being part of a military organisation, and he already had half a dozen warnings on his file from agents who were less forgiving than Gabriel when it came to rank.

“Follow him, but don’t approach him.”

“What will you be doing?”

“Doing some digging,” Gabriel muttered, knowing that he needed to give him something, but not ready to voice his thoughts on the matter of the older Shimada brother before he had something to concrete to go on. McCree didn’t look convinced but he nodded affably, finally returning his weapon to his holster and rising to his feet as well and Gabriel was about to scold him before he realised that their target was on the move. A small smile of approval escaping as McCree slouched after him, blending easily into the crowds despite the ridiculous getup that he refused to abandon. “Not bad McCree,” he muttered to himself, pleased that his gamble in offering the man a place in Blackwatch was paying dividends before tossing before heading off in the opposite direction, his mind turning back to the puzzle of the Shimada heir.

****

    Genji wasn’t blind to the fact that he was being followed, glancing in the shop window and catching a glimpse of the westerner who had been tailing him for the last few minutes. He had to admit that the man was good, even though he stood out like a sore thumb in that strange getup. If he had been anyone else, he would have missed him, dismissing him as yet another tourist with no idea about how they would look through the eyes of his culture and probably not caring. It was something to thank his teachers for he supposed, instantly scowling at the thought, as much as he enjoyed the skills he had, delighting in them when they were used for his own means. He didn’t want to thank his family for anything, not when he knew the real reason he had been taught such skills and the expectations that came with them, and he bit at his bottom lip, glancing back towards the castle that he had been slowly heading back towards, suddenly reluctant to go back just yet.

    He drifted to the next shop, idly studying the ornaments on sale, remembering the days when he and Hanzo had combed through shops like this competing to see who could find the most ridiculous thing and sighing as he glanced at the castle once more. He missed those days, missed the Hanzo who had laughed easily and willingly allowed himself to be dragged into Genji’s mischief - he missed his brother. His hands curled at his side, wondering if he went back and begged Hanzo to come into the town with him for an hour if the older man would actually agree, a bitter chuckle welling up as he shook his head at his own foolishness. He already knew the answer - it didn’t matter that Hanzo would look at him, longing breaking through the mask he seemed to wear constantly these days, or that his brother would open his mouth as though to say yes. It would only last a second, and then tendrils of control the Elders had wrapped around him would snap into place once more, and he would refuse, most likely launching into yet another tirade about how Genji should be studying or helping the family.

Words put into his mouth and obediently spat out again…

    Now more determined than ever not to go back just yet he lifted his head, searching for the reflection of his pursuer, a spark of mischief entering his eyes as he studied him approvingly. He was good, and regardless of what he wanted with him, he was unlikely to pose much of a risk. Genji was confident in his skills, and he had come a long way from the helpless child who had needed to be rescued by his brother when he had been caught out before. Nodding decisively, he checked his weapons, trying to pretend that it wasn’t Hanzo’s voice at the back of his mind urging him to take that precaution before turning and heading directly for his pursuer, taking pleasure in the way the tawny eyes that met his widened with alarm.

_This promises to be fun…_

****

     Genji wasn’t in the castle. _Of course, he isn’t,_ Hanzo couldn’t mask the bitterness of that thought even from himself as he stepped up onto the outer wall and gazed down over the town, one hand resting on the hilt of his katana. How long had it been since he had set foot outside for anything other than business? He sighed, eyes seeking out the park where the two of them had spent many happy hours climbing the trees and seeing how far they could get before they had to touch the ground, the same park where their mother had taken them for picnics, sneaking them out for the afternoon and spoiling them with sweets. What had once been a happy memory burned now, and he wrenched his gaze away, knuckles turning white as his grip tightened. Those memories were like his dreams, burnt away and better best forgotten, and yet he couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting in that direction once more, eyes stinging slightly even as he sternly blinked the tears away.

_Foolishness…_

_Genji chose his path, and you…you were given yours._  He growled, turning away from the view before any more cracks could appear in his resolve, a bitter noise rising at that thought. His resolve, as if he’d had any say in the matter, as though he could choose another course if he wanted. Knowing that if he had a choice if he had his way… no, he shook his head, knowing that he couldn’t let himself even entertain what he wanted to do, the path that he would much rather take, fingers trembling slightly as he glanced down at his weapon. _Deal with your brother…_

_Genji…_

**

    He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting when he had headed towards the Shimada Castle, adopting the air of a tourist fascinated with the architecture, able to admit up close that it was impressive and trying not to think of what resources the Clan must have if they could show their wealth in such a casual manner. He certainly hadn’t been expecting to glance up just in time to see a young man in traditional dress stepping into view, and he had hastily ducked out of sight, eyes narrowing as he took in the hand resting on the katana at the man’s side. Despite the way he seemed to be clutching it, there was an ease to his handling of it that told Gabriel that he knew how to use it. Unsurprising as he had already had the displeasure of seeing the Shimada clan in action, grudgingly admitting that their forces were better trained than many of the organisations he had come across through Blackwatch.

     However, as dangerous as it might be he found his attention shifting to the man’s face, wishing that he dared step out to get a clearer view, but there was no way he was going to compromise the mission because he was curious. Still, there was something vaguely familiar about the features, and that expression - he blinked, realising him that it reminded him of the discontent that he had seen on Genji Shimada’s face while they had been tailing him. But there was something more, a hint of darkness than reminded him for a moment of McCree and the way the younger agents had snarled and snapped at him when they had first caught him, a wild creature backed into a corner. He would never admit it, but it had been that expression that had made him so determined to offer McCree another option, and he could feel the same urge rising now as he studied the figure above him.

    How, he had no idea because there was a wall between them, literally and figuratively and he knew that they couldn’t afford to be distracted from their main target. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to move or look away, committing the bitter features to memory. The man lingered for another couple of minutes, staring at some distant point and Gabriel wished that he knew that he was looking at so that he could know what had put that expression on his face. Then the man turned away and disappeared by view and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel that something had just slipped through his fingers.

 


	2. Chapter 2

    Genji allowed himself a small smile as he nimbly scaled the wall and dropped into the compound unnoticed by the guards, shrinking back into the shadows as he studied them for a moment. It always amused him that no matter how much time they had spent training him and them lamenting about how he didn’t take it seriously, he always managed to slip past them undetected - maybe he should have been the one training them. However, his amusement was short-lived, and he took a deep breath as he turned and glanced up at the castle, it was beautiful in the slowly setting sun, and for a moment he faltered, feeling a pang at the thought of leaving it behind. For everything that had happened and everything that his family had done to him and Hanzo, it was still his home. It still held fond memories and tugged at his heart, but that wasn’t enough. Not anymore.

    Cautiously he made his way across the courtyard and into the castle, taking the less used corridors to get to his room. He knew that his absence would have been noticed and he really didn’t want yet another lecture about how he was letting down the clan, and he and his brother didn’t have time for it right now, his hand slipping down to the phone in his pocket. He had to hurry, he needed to pack although there was little that he wanted to take with him, and then he needed to find his brother and pray that for once Hanzo would listen to him and not the Elders - that he would take this chance.

    Reaching the safety of his room he sighed with relief before glancing around, realising with a pang just how little he had that he wanted to keep before pushing it aside and rooting around for a bag and dumping it on the futon. He had paused then, realising perhaps for the first time that he was really doing this, that he was finally making a decision, and he closed his eyes.

_“So why were you following me?” The stranger – McCree, had reacted brilliantly to Genji’s direct approach a couple of hours ago, the panic subsiding as he pretended to have just been curious about the green hair and wild appearance. Genji might have believed it as well, the other man was charming, flirting with an ease that Genji almost envied and it had been easy to pretend that he wasn’t a potential enemy, relaxing with him, showing him around Hanamura, both skirting around the fact that McCree had been tailing him and that Genji was a Shimada. However, curiosity had been eating away at him, and he had never really been one to deny himself and so when they had settled down at one of the ramen stalls that he used to frequent with his brother he had just plunged into it._

_“I…”_

_“Don’t try and tell me you weren’t,” Genji cut off the protest he could see forming, grinning at the panicked look that McCree was throwing him, and wondering not for the first time who had decided that this man was suited to undercover work. Although given how quickly he had relaxed around him, maybe he wasn’t as bad as he appeared. “I know enough to know when I’m being tailed, and I know the only reason could be because I’m a Shimada.” He didn’t try to hide his disgust with that fact, after all, his surname had brought him nothing but trouble so far, his eyes darting down to a scar that ran the length of his lower arm, the result of a kidnapping attempt when he was nine before he forced himself to refocus on McCree. “But you’re not a face I recognise, and it’s clear you’re not from Japan.”_

_McCree had looked like he was going to protest for a moment and Genji deliberately let his gaze flick over the outlandish getup he was wearing, drawing a reluctant chuckle from the other man before he sighed and shifted so that he was facing him. “Sorry about that…”_

_“I’m not looking for an apology, I came with you knowing what you were doing,” Genji pointed out, poking half-heartedly at his bowl of ramen. “I just want to know why?” He had little value to his family beyond the fact that he bore the name and blood, and the fact that the Dragons had recognised him as one of their children. If McCree was looking for a ransom, he was going to be sorely disappointed._

_There was silence for a moment, but he let it be, practically able to hear McCree’s mind churning as he tried to work out what to say, or more likely what he could say. Genji had spied the communicator earlier and the bulge of a phone in one pocket and knew that he was unlikely to be operating alone, and given his reactions that he was unlikely to be in charge._

_“What would you say if we were trying to recruit you?” The question when it came startled him. He hadn’t really been expecting an answer, let alone an honest one and he just knew that was what this was, and he turned to study McCree, seeing the earnestness in the tawny eyes and frowning. Recruit? They were foolish if they were trying to recruit him to rise against the clan, their reach was too far, but he couldn’t deny that he was curious and so he arched an eyebrow at the other man and the tacit confession that there was more than one person following him._

_“We?”_

_“Blackwatch, “McCree replied reluctantly, clearly deciding that since he had already said that much that he might as well keep going, before sighing when he spied the confused look on Genji’s face. Blackwatch wasn’t a name he recognised, and while he didn’t like his lessons, he did at least have the sense to file away the name of potential enemies and assassins. “We’re part of Overwatch.”_

_Genji tensed at that. You had to have lived under a rock not to have heard of Overwatch, or to know that they were systematically taking down criminal groups, as well as terrorists and mopping up the last pockets of Omnic resistance. “Overwatch is looking into my family?” It wasn’t really a question, he knew that the Shimadas was probably near the top of most lists when it came to illegal activities, something that he had come to numbly accept after a period of vehemently protesting it. He knew that he should be worried, that he should end this now -the Shimadas were powerful, but Overwatch had resources they couldn’t match. If it came to a war, he doubted they would win, and Hanzo… he scowled, before pausing as he realised that McCree had also tensed and that his hand was inching towards the weapon he had been concealing. “You don’t need that,” he muttered with a sigh, already knowing that he wasn’t going to do anything. “I’m not going to attack you.”_

_“Not how it looks from here.”_

_“You tell me that Overwatch is looking into my family, and expect me to be relaxed?”_

_“Fair point,” McCree muttered, and shifted his hand a little, still close enough to grab his gun if he needed to but marginally less threatening, and Genji nodded appreciatively before looking away, his mind going a mile a minute._

_Recruit. McCree had said that they wanted to recruit him, which meant that they needed him for something - information probably. He knew that he shouldn’t even be considering it. Loyalty and the penalties of betraying the clan had been drilled into his head from a young age. He could still remember the public execution that he had been forced to attend at the tender age of six, hiding against his brother and feeling how Hanzo had trembled too as the man who had tried to sell them out was murdered in front of their eyes. It had been a lesson neither of them had ever forgotten, and yet… He glanced at McCree out of the corner of his eye. If they wanted to recruit him, they would offer him protection - he would be safe, he would be free._

_“What if I agreed?” The question tiptoed out before he realised what he was doing, immediately torn between regret and hope, because he wanted that freedom. Even if it means betraying your family? Betraying Hanzo? A small voice asked, and he growled under his breath, hands clenching in his lap as he turned to McCree who was spluttering in surprise._

_“I, Huh…?”_

_“What would happen if I agreed?”_

_“I…You,” McCree growled, colouring slightly at being caught so off guard and Genji stared at him, silently demanded an answer. “You would be expected to help us in our operations to take down the Shimada clan, but…” He trailed off, and it was clear that he hadn’t expected that answer, and that he didn’t know the full terms and Genji sighed before glancing down at his hands. Should he wait? But he knew that the offer might disappear, that his family might learn that they were being investigated and try to nip it in the bud. Deep down he already knew his answer, it had been there for a long time, just waiting for someone to offer him a way out, but… He glanced up at the stall, remembering long afternoons spent sat here watching Hanzo practically inhale ramen, remembered laughing when Hanzo would come away covered in the stuff but grinning and proud at having thoroughly beaten him and suddenly he knew, turning back to McCree._

_“I only have one request.”_

_“What’s that?” McCree looked understandably wary, and Genji wasn’t sure that his request was going to make him feel any better, but it had to be asked._

_“My brother, I want to bring my brother too.”_

_“Your brother?” McCree echoed with a stunned expression, and Genji realised that he wasn’t the only one they had researched. They had clearly considered his brother and dismissed him, and his heart ached at the thought that if he hadn’t asked, then Hanzo would just have been lumped in with the rest of the clan, just another enemy. He could see it in the doubtful expression on the other man’s face as he asked uncertainly. “You really think that he would?”_

_“I…” Did he? It had been a long time since he had known what Hanzo was thinking or feeling, but he knew his brother - knew that he wasn’t happy even if he would never say it aloud and he nodded firmly, burying his doubt. “Yes.” Or at least I hope so, he didn’t say that bit aloud, knowing that if they thought Hanzo was too risky, the answer would be no, and instead demanding. “So?”_

_“I can’t make any promises.”_

_“I will accept a maybe,” Genji murmured, knowing that he would accept anything to be free at this point… to have a chance at giving his brother that freedom as well, and McCree had sighed, hesitating for a moment before nodding and holding out a hand which Genji had taken without hesitation._

_“Then sure, maybe.”_

    Was it a rash decision? Undoubtedly, especially with nothing more than a maybe to guarantee that his brother would be safe and accepted. But Genji wasn’t stupid, he knew that whatever protection he’d had when his father was alive was disappearing even with Hanzo around and that it wouldn’t be long before the Elders decided to do something about him. There was no way he could buckle down and follow them. He had seen what doing that had done to his brother, the boy who had climbed over Hanamura’s rooftops with him and beaten him ramen eating competitions had disappeared, replaced with a distant figure that looked more and more like a puppet. He couldn’t become that, and he wanted his brother back, he wanted to see Hanzo smile again, to hear him laugh and if that meant taking a risk like this then so be it.

    Opening his eyes, he glanced at the pictures on the wall, gaze lingering on his mother’s portrait for a moment before shifting to the tattered picture beneath it. It was a photo of him and Hanzo standing in front of their parents, arms around each other’s shoulders and bright grins on their faces, Hanzo looking like a normal child for once and he took a deep breath, firming up his resolve.

_Hanzo, we’re going to leave this behind, and maybe then I will get my brother back._

****

“You did what?” Gabriel demanded, praying that he had just misheard McCree even as he knew that he hadn’t, eyes narrowing as McCree shifted from foot to foot before offering him a sheepish grin and not for the first time he wondered why he had ever made the younger man an undercover agent. Subtlety was not McCree’s strong point, and he groaned…Jack was going to have a field day with this, and he scowled at the younger man at that thought, wondering whether he could get away with slipping him all the paperwork that was likely to come from this screw-up.

“Hey, don’t go giving me that look,” McCree protested as he caught the look, holding up his hands and taking a wary step back. He was starting to wish that he hadn’t said anything, but he the day he had decided to accept the offer to join Blackwatch he had promised himself that he would try to never lie to the man who had seen more than a lost cause in that interrogation room. “I got him to agree to help us, didn’t I?” To be honest, he was still surprised that Genji had accepted so readily, but he kept that to himself and prayed that it wasn’t a mistake.

“Or he could be in there right now telling them that we’re here,” Gabriel pointed out sharply, not fooled by the confidence. He had seen McCree bluster his way out of worse situations and he knew to take his words with a pinch of salt, wondering how someone who had been raised like McCree had could be so damn persuasive when he wanted to be. “And that we’re considering the Shimada clan that could bring a world of trouble down on our heads.” They had an evacuation team standing by, he refused to leave anything to chance, but it was always going to be a case of if they could get there in time and he sighed, glancing across at the case where his weapons were stored, hoping that it wouldn’t come to that.

“I didn’t tell him where we were, I…”

“They own this place, they will have eyes everywhere,” Gabriel cut him off, not showing his relief that at least it would take them a little longer to locate them if Genji Shimada decided to betray their presence, but it wouldn’t buy them long. “If they want to find us they will.” And the inn was hardly a place to mount a good defence, especially with innocent civilians all around them and he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to imagine the mess this could turn into. “Goddammit McCree.” He should never have left him alone, he knew how impatient the younger man was, and he sighed, shoulders slumping as he realised that this was on him.

“You didn’t talk to him boss,” McCree said, sensing that Gabriel’s ire was fading and daring to take a step forward, sounding more confident as he added. “He wanted out.” He caught the look his commander was giving him and ducked his head, remembering the pang that had gone through him at the desperation in Genji’s voice when he had asked if he really meant what he was saying and his voice was barely above a whisper.  “He looked like me…just how I was back then.”

“Jesse…”

“Look, I get that I screwed up,” McCree lifted his head, refusing to run from his screw up and refusing to back down on the issue. He knew that Genji was going to come. He knew it. “But at least give him a chance.” _Like you gave me…_

     Gabriel studied McCree for a moment, seeing the determination and resolve and catching the unspoken words with a slightly softened expression. He had caused a lot of waves with that decision, and he had a feeling that bringing Genji Shimada into the fold would do the same and he sighed, there was really nothing else to lose at this point, either they would be betrayed or they would gain a valuable source of information and with that in mind he nodded.  “Did he ask for anything?” McCree hadn’t asked for anything back then, but then again, he’d had nothing to ask for, nothing to try and protect. Whereas Genji had a lot to lose in doing this, and it stood to reason that he might try to leave himself a back door.

“He wanted to know if we would be willing to recruit his brother as well.”

“Hanzo Shimada?” Gabriel frowned, that was a request that he hadn’t expected especially with the reports that indicated that the brothers weren’t close. They had talked about it at the start of the mission as to whether it would be worth trying to approach him as well, but with so little known about him, it had been deemed too risky, but if they could get him onside… Abruptly his mind darted to the figure on the castle wall, and he began to pace, considering the possibilities before turning and glancing back at McCree.    “What did you say?”

“I said maybe,” McCree admitted, knowing that even that might have been too much, but Gabriel nodded approvingly and he relaxed a little. “It seemed to be enough.” He had expected that to be the deal breaker caught by surprise when Genji had accepted the hedged answer so easily, but then again McCree had got the sense that he was clutching at straws when it came to his brother, so maybe it had been enough. “I gave him my number, he’ll call me when he’s on his way, and we can arrange a meet.”

“Fine,” Gabriel grunted, before adding warningly. “But if this goes wrong…”

“I know.”

_It’s going to be a mess._

****

    Hanzo stood outside his brother’s door, staring at it with his hand resting on his katana, heart hammering in his chest as he heard Genji moving around inside and closing his eyes. He had glimpsed Genji slipping back into the compound, and he had almost confronted him there and then, but then he had glimpsed the expression on his brother’s face when he studied the castle, and he had found himself hesitating, not sure what to make of the melancholy which had replaced the usual grin. Instead, he’d found himself shadowing Genji as he made his way inside, trying to tell himself it was because he wanted to do this in private and not because he was trying to put it off. It didn’t work, and he could almost feel the pressure of the elders closing in around him as he stood there staring at the door and with a low snarl he stepped forward and rapped sharply on the door.

“Who is it?” Genji sounded guilty, and Hanzo could hear him frantically shoving something around, and he frowned, voice tight as he realised that his brother wasn’t moving towards the door.

“Hanzo.”

“Hanzo!” How long had it been since he’d heard his brother say his name so enthusiastically? Hanzo felt a pang, and it was a struggle to keep his expression blank as he heard Genji darting across the room, blinking as the door was yanked open and he found Genji herding him inside. “Come in!” He heard the door close behind them and tried not to think about how it sounded like a death knell because now they were alone, and he had no more excuses. Yet he found his hand falling away from his weapon as he glanced at his brother, taking in the warm smile and the bright eyes, torn between wondering what had put that expression on his face and envy. Then his gaze shifted to the futon, and he froze, eyeing the partially packed bag and the clothes that had been dumped unceremoniously beside it, no doubt when Genji had come to let him in and suddenly it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“What are you doing?” He demanded harshly, watching as Genji returned to his bed and started to fold his clothes and he felt a bubble of panic rising in his chest. _Was Genji packing? Did he really think that he would be allowed to leave? That Hanzo could let him go?_

“Yes.”

“But…” He realised that he’d still be entertaining the hope that he might be able to talk some sense into his brother. Genji’s good mood fanning that hope, making him think for a second that for once his words would be met with understanding rather than sharp words, but he could feel that hope sinking, the bubble of panic swelling, and he had to take a step back as Genji turned to look at him.

“This is our chance,” Genji replied earnestly abandoning his packing in favour of moving across to his brother, not noticing the way Hanzo had stiffened at his approach, reaching out to grasp Hanzo’s hand in both of his. “Hanzo.” He waited for Hanzo to meet his gaze, not taking any notice of the blank expression and the strange look in his brother’s eyes. It had been a long time since he had been able to read his brother and he just hoped that this chance would get Hanzo to open up once more, squeezing Hanzo’s hand.  “I’ve found someone who is willing to help us get away from here, to help us leave all of this behind.” _You can be free…_

“Genji…”

“Hanzo?” Genji’s enthusiasm dimmed as he finally registered the terse tone and the way that his brother had begun to tremble in his grip. “Hanzo? What’s wrong?”

“You can’t be serious…” Hanzo breathed, snatching his hand back and stumbling back, eyes dark as he stared at Genji as though he had never seen him before. “Are you even hearing yourself? Where would you even go?” Neither of them missed the longing that slipped into his voice then, Genji seizing on it, while Hanzo flinched, hands curling into fists at his side and looking as though he was torn between lashing out at his brother or lashing out at himself. Genji didn’t hesitate though, stepping towards him with a pleading expression.

“Brother, come with me.” _Please, let me protect you this time._  He wasn’t blind, he knew that Hanzo had been shielding him from the Elders since their father had died. He had hated it, but he hadn’t known how to help without giving way to their demands, and that was something he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do, but now he had a chance to make amends, to give Hanzo back the dreams they had whispered to one another when they were younger. He just had to get Hanzo to see that, and he stepped forward again, holding his hand out to his brother. “Please.”

    Hanzo stared at the outstretched hand, wishing that it could just be as simple as that. Wishing that he could reach out and take Genji’s offer and that would be that. But it wasn’t. He knew that if they left now, then they would never be safe, they would never be free because the Elders would never let them go. Never let him go, and slowly he backed away again, shaking his head and fiercely blinking against the burning sensation that he could feel building in his eyes as he whispered.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Genji demanded, a hint of exasperation seeping in now. Why was his brother being so stubborn about this? He knew that Hanzo spent hours staring out over the city, knew that deep down he still dreamed of a life beyond the rules and traditions that governed his days - there was no way someone could just throw those all away, not for their family.  “What could possibly be keeping you here?”

“You have to ask that?” Hanzo snapped, but Genji just stared at him, daring him to say it and praying that he wouldn’t. “My place is here. The Elders would never let us…me go, they would hunt me to ends of the earth, and you know that!” His nails were digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood now as he saw the stubborn expression on Genji’s face, the refusal to understand or accept the limitations that they were both under, and he could feel terror bubbling up under the anger. _Please understand. Please don’t make me do want they’ve asked me to do._ Desperate he took a step forward, wanting to reach out as Genji had earlier, but unable to bring himself to do so, terrified that Genji would pull away. “Please, you know that’s true. Even if it were just you leaving, they would never let you go.” _Don’t make me your enemy…_

“Screw them!” Genji snapped, unable to believe that Hanzo would support the Elders over him, missing the desperation in his brother’s voice. Or rather misunderstanding it, hoping that it was Hanzo struggling against the dreams that had been denied him for so long, rather than trying to make him bend to the will of the Elders, and softening his tone he stepped forward again. “Hanzo, I’m leaving please no matter what you say. But I want you to come with me. Please…”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Hanzo muttered through clenched lips, eyes darkening as he moved back to stand in front of the door. “Neither of us are. When are you going to realise that?” The blank mask had slipped back into place, the desperation hidden once more and Genji froze, heart, aching as he realised that Hanzo wasn’t going to listen to him. That his brother had made his decision had made his decision, and it hadn’t been to support him, and for a moment he wanted to scream and shout at his brother, to drag the old Hanzo out of hiding, kicking and screaming if he needed to.

“Hanzo…” He cut himself off as he met the dark gaze. He knew that look, he knew his brother - he wasn’t going to shift, and he had to turn away, blinking back sudden tears. He had hoped that Hanzo would seize this chance, but apparently that had been a fool’s hope, and slowly he moved back to his bed and scooped up his bag, he hadn’t finished packing, but he was done. He couldn’t stay here and watch his brother slip away from him. He couldn’t stand here and know that the next time they faced one another, it might be as enemies.

    When he turned back and moved towards the door, he expected Hanzo to move. He could see the resignation in Hanzo’s face, the same pained realisation that he wasn’t going to be able to change his mind. And usually that would be when Hanzo would turn and walk away, but today he remained where h was, staring at Genji as he approached. “Move.” Genji pleaded, wondering if he reached out and dragged his brother along if that would be enough to make him realise…

“No.” He blinked at the blunt refusal, the cold tone catching him by surprise. For all their fights and disagreements, Hanzo had never sounded like that with him, and he found himself flinching fresh hurt blossoming, and he had to take a deep breath to stop his voice from wavering.

“You can’t make me stay here.” Genji readjusted his grip on his bag. “Besides, things will probably be easier if I’m gone.” It hurt to admit that, but he knew that it was true - knew that Hanzo’s life would be easier, that the castle would be more peaceful, and now he found himself wishing that he had never come back. Wishing that he hadn’t tried to take Hanzo with him, because leaving like this, with everything broken, with that failure weighing on him…it hurt.

“It’s too late for that,” Hanzo replied quietly, and Genji finally realised that his brother’s hand had slipped down to his katana, that his knuckles were turning white as he gripped the hilt. _Hanzo._  His gaze flicked back up to his brother’s face, breath catching as he spied something dark and dangerous in Hanzo’s eyes, the blank mask beginning to crack and suddenly there was a spike of fear amongst the hurt, because this wasn’t the Hanzo that he knew, and he found himself taking a step back.

“H-Hanzo?” This time his voice did waver, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, shrinking back when Hanzo stepped forward, and there was the rasp of metal as he drew his sword, and this time he couldn’t hide his fear. “Stop this, you’re scaring me.”

“You should have listened to me.”

**

    Gabriel was pacing around their room, alternating between circling around the room and moving to stand at the window so that he could stare up at the distant lights of Shimada Castle. So far there had been no sign of trouble coming their way, but he wasn’t ready to breathe a sigh of relief just yet, his weapons ready and within reach. It didn’t help that McCree was uncommonly quiet, expression tense as he constantly checked his phone and there was a pool of pool of tension building in the pit of his stomach as he dragged his gaze back to the castle.

_Somethings wrong…_

****

Hanzo wasn’t joking.

He wasn’t trying to convince Genji to stay.

He was trying to kill him.

     Genji wasn’t sure at what point he had realised that just that it had come with a sharp ache in his chest and a fierce line of pain across his chin as barely managed to dodge his brother’s attack. His vision was blurring with pain and tears as he fell backwards, frantically throwing his shuriken at his brother, not to hurt him but to hold him back so that he could put some distance between them.

“Hanzo, please…” He could see it in Hanzo’s eyes, he didn’t want to do this. Or maybe he was just trying to convince himself of that, unable to face the other thought because as Hanzo advanced towards him again, it looked like he wanted nothing more than to hurt him. “Hanzo…”

“How many times did I warn you? Did father warn you?” Hanzo cut across him, tone cold and Genji shattered there and then because there was no give, no forgiveness in those words. Whatever had happened, had set his brother’s decision in stone, and for a moment he nearly gave up there and then, because in all the times he had imagined life on the run from his family, he had never once imagined that his brother would be among the hunters. It would be so easy. Hanzo was still coming at him, the tiny confines of his room leaving him with little options, and he was sure that Hanzo would make it quick, that he would at least show him that much mercy. Then Hanzo’s voice cracked and broke with his next words, pain written across his face. “Genji, why couldn’t you just have listened?”

“I’m sorry,” Genji whispered, even as he took a step back, all thoughts of giving up fleeing in the face of his brother’s grief. “I’m sorry.” _I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry that this is what they’ve done to you and I’m sorry, but I’m going to leave you behind…_ He had made his decision to leave, McCree’s surprised expression flashing through his mind, and he took a deep breath as he whirled around and bolted for the window, knowing that he needed to put as much distance between them, feeling the tip of Hanzo’s sword scoring across his shoulder just before he smashed through the window.

    The fall would have killed most people, but Genji wasn’t most people and despite the pain radiating from his injuries he managed to catch the ledge beneath the window, hastily dropping to the next level as he realised that Hanzo was following him. He was nimbler that his brother, faster and more daring when it came to the large drops, but today Hanzo was moving with a single-minded determination, his katana already stained with Genji’s blood clenched in his teeth as he followed Genji down the wall.

    Genji hit the ground first and took off running. He couldn’t fight Hanzo. He wouldn’t, and so he bolted, praying that Hanzo would realise that fact - that he would falter, but he could hear his brother following him, closing on him and terror gripped him. _Hanzo, why?_    

“You think that you can just walk away?” Genji hadn’t realised that he’d shouted that question aloud, until Hanzo answered him, voice terse and angry…and desperate, and Genji found himself faltering, turning back to look at Hanzo at his next words. “That you can leave me?”

“Brother…” _But I asked you to come with me…_

“You think that you can have everything you want? Your dreams? Your freedom?” Hanzo wasn’t stopping, his face twisting into an ugly mask as everything rose up and overwhelmed him. Genji’s refusal to listen, to stay…the offer of freedom that he could never accept…the Elders’ demands…it was all too much, crushing him, stifling him and he could feel the Dragons rising, burning their way through his skin as he admitted bitterly.  “Everything that I can’t have.” _Everything I want…_

“You could have it though!” Genji shouted, voice rising as despite his fear he took a step back towards his brother, reaching out for him. _Please Hanzo, for once just listen to me._ He already knew that his words were going to fall on deaf ears, could see it in Hanzo’s face but he couldn’t stop the words from coming, couldn’t stop himself from trying. “Hanzo just come with me! The people I met can protect us! You can be free!”

“I CAN NEVER BE FREE!” Hanzo roared, tears glittering in his eyes and Genji realised that it was true. That the clan had their claws too deeply in his brother and he cursed, hating them with a potency, he had never felt before, but there was more now…he hated Hanzo for giving in to them, for bowing to them when he had fought against them, and he hated himself for not realising how bad it was, for not trying to help him before now, and he closed his eyes. _No, you can’t…I’m so sorry Hanzo._

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, tears on his cheeks as he turned and bolted again, hardening his heart as he heard Hanzo howling with a mixture of rage and pain as he realised that Genji wasn’t going to stop. He didn’t let himself look back this time, instead focusing on the wall rising in front of him and the freedom that lay on the other side…a freedom that was going to cost him more than he had ever thought it would.

     The only warning he had was a tension in the air, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. And then his world was engulfed in blue, and he screamed, feeling the Dragons tearing at him, snapping and snarling even as they released a howl of anguish that echoed their master’s. He could feel his own Dragon rising to the surface, trying to fight them, trying to protect them, but it was one on two, and Hanzo had always been more attuned with his Dragons that Genji. He was falling, knees giving way beneath him, mouth open in a scream as it felt like he was burning from the inside out. Then came the fire, a sickening burning fire that ran the length of his back and he howled, feeling his Dragon shrieking and rolling beneath his flesh. It subsided as it found itself trapped within his skin and with a trembling hand he reached behind him, fresh flames lashing at him as he touched the torn flesh, slowly tilting his head towards the figure stood behind him, numbly taking in the blood staining the sword in his hand and covering his brother’s front…his blood.

“H…” _Why?_ He wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t come, blood bubbling up rather than air and he gasped, feeling the fire spreading through the rest of his body. He wanted to scream, tears building in his eyes, vision blurring and fading to black as the flames built higher and higher and then he was falling again, only this time there was nothing to catch him. Not that he wanted to catch himself, the darkness rushing over him, chasing away the flames, and he willingly let his eyes drift shut lacking the strength to fight anymore, and the last thing he saw was Hanzo. His brother rushing towards him, blank mask completely destroyed, eyes wide with horror as though he was only now realising what he had done, and despite everything, he felt a moment of pity for his brother.

_Hanzo, maybe now you can be free…_

 


End file.
